Friday, February 04, 2005

Urban folk

Julie Clark and I are spending the evening alone together. Is she a lesbian? I can't tell yet from her lyrics. Hopefully, not, and I can freely download this excellent album I found on realRhapsody this evening. She's "urban folk" which sounds like me, the blend of downhome and caught in a city. Yet, the pronouns do matter, breaks my concentration, introduces images I'd rather not encounter, so I'll just freely enjoy her music now. It's good, though. I love sifting through all of these albums, thinking that I can break out of the mold of my current listening box of local radio. I can expand ...........
Cody had me sifting through Rancid albums earlier. Yes, my children like alternative also. Thank you, God, for that important distinction. Eagerly received when other things feel paltry right now in my life.
It has been a tough day with anxiety. Now, the boys and daughter are gone, and I'm alone, and I can relax in music with a longing bent, especially Julie's "The Naked Song". :) A bath is soon calling, after another look at a recorded television show, after these apples and cornnuts which constitute my supper, after this nice writing break.
My former co-teacher asked me today if I wanted to grade essays with the group. Outer life.
The Wednesday night group went alright. I have no concept of myself up front, except that I'm inwardly shaking, yet I can talk, the words form from all the books I've read which have helped me articulate something from my depths. Also God's kind spirit. Also necessity of duty that sprang once from love, that mimics love enough to speak as opposed to mute anxiety.
The women are wonderful. We all need each other. And, yes, there are probably those who struggle with lesbian feelings as I've heard testimony. Not me, though, thank God for that! But, I do struggle and need my friends. Will I have to start over? Let's not think about that.
So, it has been nice to meet Julie Clark, urban folk rocker, this evening. I do love music.

Take care,

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