Sunday, February 20, 2005

Daffodil friends

I remember beginning this blog with my farmer yearnings in tow and fresh images in my mind from my rural homeland: Bo jumping bales, pepper jelly being boiled on the stove, Elvira the mule appaloosing up the hills, the North Fork winding its way. Sigh.

It seems like a long time since I've been home. Mom says the daffodils are already budding up, ready to burst. Vietta's legacy returns each year to remind us of her, my unmet pretty great-grandmother. The daffodils have naturalized and run down to the green, mossy pond about 200 yards from the house. Wouldn't it be amazing to be known and remembered by a bloom?

But, it's February in the city, or large town one might call it. The cul-de-sac has had its share of kids lately since the weather has been temperate enough. Thursday evening, girls were chasing Cody, and he pedaled furiously into the side of the road which tipped him over, and he rolled and rolled (his words) and landed on his ankle. Three and a half hours later, the xray showed that it was just sprained. He's been crawling around with his splint dragging. I fetch him food every hour or so, because he's milking me like a hurt boy only knows how to do.

Life for me has been less anxious. Except, of course, for Wednesday evening when I got up and spoke in front of 90+ women and told on myself. The chapter for my small group study was called, "Come out of Hiding" which I did and now wish that there was a cave around to re-enter. Ah well ... the women in my group exposed themselves too in a surprising way. There's much pain out there, you know. God works through the air.

Life has been a bit in the doldrums. Except, I went out with two old bookclub friends on Friday evening, and we discussed all sorts of things. They helped me see that I can move on without too much guilt. Movement is the operative word. VB wants to be everyone's mother, and we gladly let her.

Friendships have been going through a strange period. People that I know and love have gotten busy, as if I haven't. My friendships are seemingly cyclic, and I don't like that. I want people to be around longer. It seems as if I know tons of women whom I consider friends, yet too many of them are revolving close friends. They revolve because of circumstances. Is that bad or good? Is that the life of women? I would rather, in some ways, have closer less revolving friends, yet circumstantial situations bring many back and forth. Last year, I had at least two in my close circle, but one of those women is never available now. She has three children and focuses on them; she increased her hours on her job. I've had to release expectation of much time from her after trying to keep things going. Then, there are wonderful newer women that I have met and like a lot and serve with. The ground just keeps moving a bit in this area. However, my wonderful friend, JH, is still around, loving me, being there for me when I need anything, accepting both Cody and me in her kitchen whenever. I so much appreciate that!

Well, I am going to try to sleep again. For some reason, the cat decided to become an acrobat around 3:15 this morning and made me wake up and think about jewelry and friendships and daffodils and movement .... on to bed for some more dreams. Bien nuit.....

1 comment:

lady laura said...

I know an Elvira too! But she is too old to "appaloosa" much anymore.

I'm glad there is no cave for you to re-enter. Your stepping out gave others permission to do so. 'Course that's easy for me to say, I still have one foot in mine;-)