Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Thank God they discovered coffee has antioxidants marching around the mug in search of fiendish germs to finish off. As I swigged mine down today at two various coffee shops, I decided that I should answer any pleas for research bodies. Since I live in a university town, often we’ll get calls from young voices asking, “Would you like to earn a quick $35 cash? Come and answer our research questions! It’ll only take 30 minutes of your time.” The last one I did was regarding my feelings toward all things yogurt.
The young African graduate researcher in an agricultural department smiled and asked me, “How do you feel about the consistency of yogurt?” And, then she smiled at me as if it was a joke and I was auditioning for Jerry Seinfeld’s sitcom audience.
As a smiler from my maternal side, I, of course, reciprocated the smile. And, I pondered deeply for a split second before saying, “I feel good about it.” She wrote my response down, and we’d smile at each other all over again.
“Would you purchase yogurt with calcium supplements in it?”
“Sure.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Existential angst. Ha, ha, I mean, I feel pretty good about it.”
She would write that down. Then, I had to rank yogurts using these handmade cards that had numbers on them. I had to express my feelings about such meticulous yogurt ordering. I had to smile afterwards up until the point where, smiling, she handed me the cash. With most of my feelings thus depleted, I immediately went and bought a Polish pottery plate for a collection that I’m supposed to have because all women collect something homemakingish, which I’ve been very relaxed and eclectic and lazy about apparently.
Anyway, these memories flooded me during my coffee bouts this morning and afternoon. Cody has been at appointments, and I’ve been drinking it up.
How do I feel about that?
Bottoms up to healthy excess. I sit by the phone and wait to earn another plate.

1 comment:

lady laura said...

Cute post!! I have just learned about the healthy benefits of my most recent addiction and am thankful to be released from the guilt of using a drug:-)

No one EVER calls me to ask my feelings about yogurt or any other thing. For $35, I could talk about anything for at least 2 hours! I'm jealous........