It was one of those days where you whirl around remembering and forgetting things, being here and being there, speeding up and waiting. But, for me, it was promising like an upcoming pumpkin pie season. A scent of something substantial, a slice of goodness for a satisfying taste. For me, it was, not surprisingly, through a conversation with a friend who always seems to know what I mean when I say things poorly. Who nods and understands and relates highly to the unknowable, unthinkable, unwordable, irrational, subjective. We had about one hour this morning, within a ten-year friendship stint, to come together over a table, express, nod, relate, and then leave. I always notice the leaving as much as the other part. But, it’s okay – my friend is steady. It’s taken me a long time to realize and accept the truth of this. I notice, however, upon the leaving that something is taken out of me; I feel emptier but not in a sense of loss. I can’t explain it well, yet I feel it so incredibly much, so please just nod and understand if you’ve experienced the same. Maybe one day I will have words for it.
Relationships in general have been on my mind a lot lately. I walk a balancing line between being too needy and too independent. I despise being the former, so often I hold back and am the latter. I can’t figure it out. God must guide me in this continually as I am drawn to something I find mystifying.
The other wonderful activity today was teaching a Creative Writing class with 20 4-7th graders. At one point, they made ear-splitting barnyard sounds as I dared them to use sensory repertoires to experience the world. We laughed together, their fresh faces, minds. Awesome kids! I become enwrapped in possibility when I teach. I can’t wait for next week. So enjoyable.
That’s been my little moments in time. Thankful for His good gifts.