Saturday, September 04, 2004

Ella by the curtain

The Tigers will undoubtedly slaughter Arkansas State tomorrow.
My pretty, tall sister is going with me to the game. I'm imagining the looks that she'll get tomorrow. We look nothing alike. I'm shorter, stockier, and she's built like a model. She forgets to eat. I love sweets. She's had some face work; my face is good as is. She's a cowgirl, and I'm academic. She has a sharp, quick, silly wit, and I'm usually the listener-laugher. She's an independent single mother of two teen girls. I make meals and pies. I've always sought life's meaning. She's always sought survival in the moment.
We share a few similarities. We're both forgetful. We both were athletic. We both are prone to loneliness. We both know how to play "Soldier's Joy" on the mandolin. We both played the secondhand (thirdhand) trumpet in band. We went to state in the two mile relay together. We both drove the half-painted VW bug in high school. It will be fun to be with her. She likes excitement like a stadium full of screaming people.
I'm listening to Ella Fitzgerald as I type. She sounds positively brimming, bubbling ... the piano moves lightly .... I'm falling in love, with you. You flew too high but now you've got a feeling you're falling, yes, falling in love with, nobody else but you, bu da da da da dadada da!
This world is so bizarre, n'est ce pas? I mean in Russia right now, there are mothers and fathers doubled over with pain for their senselessly murdered child. An innocent day gone explosive. Bodies stacked in the hallways. Bloody images of young faces. And, here in the contained world, sings Ella. Sigh, yet, it makes sense that someone sings while someone cries. Otherwise, wouldn't life be altogether unbearable? It's a bizarre juxtaposition, though, which is difficult to get used to.
Do you do this as well? I'm always splicing my life with others and wondering about the thin curtain that separates. I'm off for fun and victory when on the other side of the world ...
Well, I'm just sorry that it happened. I can at least tuck them into my consciousness and send regret out into the air. Not much when all is said and done. Yes, it must suck to be God at times. Things are messed up in many ways.
Okay, tomorrow will be enjoyable for me. I should sleep on all things that swirl in my head.
Good night to all in the world who need it.

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