Recently a nephew of mine posted something that I felt could hurt the deep feelings of another relative. I sent him a private note, not angry, just asking him to think of these. Of course, he answered defensively saying that he didn't care about other's feelings nor who he offended. He said that I got off easy in his reply and that he would post what he wanted. Of course, what was I thinking to make him change his way of caring about someone else's feelings? This he prides himself on and has alienated key family members from himself and son. He also mentioned that he knew that we thought he was a backwards ignorant redneck. But, he said "love ya" at the end. I answered back kind of defeated in succumbing to the temptation to take care of someone else's feelings and thus separating myself from relationship with my nephew. I apologized and said to post what he wanted, and I wouldn't comment. I said "love ya" too. He read and unfriended me.
Ah the drama of Facebook!
I've been thinking about a couple of things after this.
First, I admire him in that he is showing who he is to the world. Yes, it's uncouth, uneducated (yes, it is), uncaring to the feelings of others, all of which I do not admire, but it is who he is without regard or double sided appearances.
Second, I need to be more like that. I often hide my lefter leanings, my intellectualism -- this especially since some of my family seem to take it as a personal insult to their intelligence no matter what I do with it; my artistic side -- again, my family doesn't understand and I've been hurt by comments, and my version of God's truth -- inclusive. I need to be more open about taking care of people's feelings too. What's wrong with that!?
Therefore, I decided that I need to stop hiding so much. To be good with who I am. So, this sounds contradictory for being more open, but I've created a custom list of friends who are from New York, Seattle:), who like plays, who like art, who like to think, some whom I don't even know very well, and here I can be myself if I feel like expressing that side of me. Unfortunately, I have no family members on this list. My mother would probably be fine, though. My son, yes. My husband, yes but not too interested. My daughter, not interested or appreciative either, this isn't her thing.
For the general FB posts, I can stick to safer subjects like bluegrass, God bless America, pictures of family, and recipes. Of course, this is not being braver, but it's realizing that I should be myself in some kind of social media format. (Some would say -- therein lies the problem of social media, glossing, glazing, misinterpreting. It's true, yet my great-aunt, third cousin, nephew's wife can like the predictable. It's all good!).
My first blog about social media throes. And on modern life goes.