Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Pumpkin ale

Alright. They lived in their van. How funny is that in retrospect?
I am envious of living in a van and using gas stations for bathrooms? Have you consistently smelled the inside of a woman's bathroom at a convenience store? Have you consistently had to wipe the rim clean, or flush the tampons down that someone else left behind?
How romantic is that? I have windows, cats, flowers in my garden, musical instruments laying around, books on shelves, food, stable friends.
Ah, my day has been just like that. One moment, I want escape, the other, I am kissing things around me. I know one thing: I am okay with my lived life. I love the stretching between two worlds, the longings, the stabilizing, the dancing, the spirals, the ascents. Yes, I want more, but, hey, come on in to right now. It's good, and I'm good. And, come to think of it, I think I have one pumpkin ale left in my refrigerator. Why not celebrate?
Tonight at church, I was so hungry for the eucharist. Carrying the body inside of me. The symbolism. The intake to take me to strength. Yet, there were baptisms instead. People telling their story of acceptance, people going under water, people hugging and cheering. It was symbolic. I was thoughtful, though. I'm in a different place. I do love symbolism, however. Then, my young bosom postmodern friend joined me while our hubbys went to get the kids, and we related our quirky thoughts which don't fit in. And, it was fun. I laughed hard -- I expressed myself in a lively way. She's the best. We want to carry forth our different ideas and .... we don't know what. I said, "Write!", and she said, "Yes! Or divide the church!", and I agreed with a hearty laugh. Thank you, Good Spirit.
My moroseness is gone, and I feel lighter like the lady in the reception room earlier today. And, yes, I'm envious of those trail walks and bird watching and the freedom from stuff. I love the woods. I'm a Woods. But, living in a van .......
Thank you also, Viv, for a long hug in the parking lot of a place that served us soup over lunch. I am truly blessed!

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