Joy

Today as I was on a long, solo trail run, full of honeysuckle and surprisingly not-so-exhausted legs, I felt some exhilaration mixed with much gratitude. I am truly grateful for where God has brought me and how much he has taught me through the years. I remember early days of faith renewal, the excitement and the desire to know and to please Him. I remember the day of saying yes! yes! to God after an especially meaningful reaffirmation of being back in my faith. That night, I truly felt as if I heard the angels sing all through the night to me. I felt held in God's arms, truly feeling much joy. And through the years, as a Christian, God has taught me very much about maturation as a person and as a woman. He has untied me from damaging tendencies which He made me personally untangle. He has made me see things that I couldn't see without His help -- personality and vanity issues. He has given me mission and placement. He has given me my own identity back wrapped in His love and desire. God helped me with so many parenting resources, through friendships and information and prayers to Him. He has been patient with me as I, at times, have complained and turned my back on trusting Him, being angry and impatient and throwing fits. I am glad that God loves me and never leaves me, despite what I do. And, so as I ran, I felt very happy and joyous, seeing many things clearly which I will likely forget during other times. But, I am thankful to be a limited person with a limitless God on my side. And, so I sing praise before I sleep tonight. Grateful, grateful to be loved despite who I am. Trusting that God will continue to teach me to look to Him while I look around where He has put me. Thankful for the Spirit who has set me free from the law of sin and death. Praying that family and friends will also know God's promised joy, healing, teaching, and resources. Amen.