Monday, January 02, 2006

Do oatmeal packets have an expiration date? Every year for the past several years, I've probably eaten a packet every January 2nd, thinking that I will develop a taste for the highly touted glop. I think I have a supply for five more years.

Cindy over at Quotidian Light made it through my dull resolution list of the other day and discovered the promise of a horse biscuit joke which she eagerly requested. So, Cindy, prepare to either be delighted with a giggle or appalled with a guffaw and an ewwww ... let me know.:) (This must be an old Ozarkian joke btw so you've probably heard it.) Hold on to your hat ..........

There were two drunk hungry homeless bums who had just woken up in a ditch. (Pulls at the ole heartstrings already, eh?). One bum said, "Man, I shore am hungry!" The other one agreed and said, "See that house over yonder? I bet that I can find a way to get a nice hot meal." The ole bum picked up a cold horse biscuit that was laying nearby, and he went up to the door of the house and knocked.

The lady of the house answered, and the bum looked up at her and said, "Ma'am, I am just wondering if you could spare a little bit of butter for my cold biscuit here." The good lady took one look at his horse biscuit and said, "There ain't no way that I'm lettin' you eat that for breakfast! C'mon in here and I'll fix you right up in a proper way." She commenced to fixing him a big hot breakfast of sausage and biscuits and gravy with a cup of coffee to boot.

The bum sauntered back to his buddy all full and pleased with himself. So, the other guy decided he would try out his luck on the next house down. He grabbed an old horse biscuit, went to the door, and knocked. The good lady of the home answered, and he said, "Ma'am, I am just wonderin' if you could spare some butter for my cold biscuit here." She took one look down at it and with a voice full of what seemed like pity said, "No, I can't but you can help yourself to some hot ones right back there in the barn."


4 comments:

Cindy said...

:::laughing so hard the cat is about to get shaken off my lap:::

Oh, this is priceless!!!

:::gleefully pondering victims upon whom to inflict it:::

:::sending my dad a link:::

:::and my brother:::

:::and brother-in-law:::

:::and mother-in-law:::

Sometimes it feel absolutely WONDERFUL to throw "cultivation" aside and just enjoy life in Wright County as it is, cold biscuits and warm. Thanks, Teri!

Fieldfleur said...

yes cold/hot biscuits are good in "Booger" county too (do you know that one?:).

Glad you laughed! Your poor victims!

T

Cindy said...

I'd never heard it called "Booger County" until I married Great Scott, who is from Sparta and refers to it as that all the time. :) (Don't ask how a literarily gifted intellectual grew up in Sparta. We still don't know. ..."Can anything good come out of Nazareth?") ;)

Fieldfleur said...

Sparta ... I think a friend's husband came from there, prob much older than you and hubby? Forgot his name. But, he's smart as well. Maybe something in the dirt?!
Isn't Garden of Dreams near Sparta?
That's beautiful!