True
Intimacy
"Human relationships easily become
possessive. Our hearts so much desire to be loved that we are inclined to cling
to the person who offers us love, affection, friendship, care, or support. Once
we have seen or felt a hint of love, we want more of it. That explains why
lovers so often bicker with each other. Lovers' quarrels are quarrels between
people who want more of each other than they are able or willing to give.
It is very hard for love not to
become possessive because our hearts look for perfect love and no human being is
capable of that. Only God can offer perfect love. Therefore, the art of loving
includes the art of giving one another space. When we invade one another's space
and do not allow the other to be his or her own free person, we cause great
suffering in our relationships. But when we give another space to move and share
our gifts, true intimacy becomes possible."
Henri Nouwen is quite smart; I know in prior neediness, of loneliness, I have broken the good advice above. The codependency quotient kicks in, and, suddenly, a person (me) feels rejected and unfulfilled. Thankfully, God realizes our longings can be misplaced, misappropriated; our love can be misguided. I believe that He is exceptional at addressing this in us, if we listen. I have been tangled before in the above; I've been the child minus necessary affection which caused seeking. However, God is patient and helps and grows us. For myself, I am so very grateful. I have definitely needed His gentle arms teaching me about real love.
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